


Four Words

by VanillaAttack



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, i am weak, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29638713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaAttack/pseuds/VanillaAttack
Summary: There are four words that haunts Oikawa. They are whispered in the nights and mumbled throughout the days. He doesn't tell anyone, though. He keeps it all in.Until one day when he is finally ready to let go.The hospital AU that my cruel little self came up with while reading a book.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Four Words

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration for this from the ending of the Half Bad trilogy by Sally Green. That being said, this fic will contain some "hidden" spoilers. 
> 
> Fun fact, I was initially going to make this a Kuroo x Kenma fic but I changed it because I think this is more fitting. To be honest, I wasn't planning on posting this at all, I just wrote it because i wanted a fic like this at the time. But I found it again a week later and thought "why not?".  
> I'm gonna be honest and say that I did cry a bit while writing this, but I am weak so what did I expect?  
> I really hope that whoever reads this will like it as much as I do. Thank you for stopping by, It really means the world to me.

We're in Miyagi. I’m in the hospital for my knee. There was an accident, but Hajime seems fine, it was me who took the worst of it. Matsukawa and Hanamaki often visits us. They spend most of their times talking to the doctors or the nurses. Sometimes to me. Never to Hajime. 

The nurses bring me pills. They’re to keep me calm and make me sleep, but all I want to do is be with Hajime. When I'm with Hajime I am calm and I don’t need to sleep. Hajime spends his time looking out the window in my room and if I'm sleeping, I can’t be with him. 

Today is sunny and I'm sitting right in the sunlight on my bed. Hajime is beside me, holding my hand while gazing out at the sun. He’s cold, I can tell. I am cold too. It’s late march and the warmth from the sun is a nice change from the otherwise chilly winds. It’s still not hot, but Spring’s arrived. 

I let go of Hajime’s hand to reach for a blanket, but quickly grab hold of it again. Hajime smiles at this. He always smiles. 

I’m engulfed in fabrics but still I shiver. Hajime notices this. He takes off his jacket and lays it on top of me. He’s always so good to me these days. Always how I wished him to be. 

I keep my eyes out the window while I slowly slide my right hand into one of the jacket’s pockets. My left hand is still in Hajime’s and I don’t let go of his. I don’t need to. It’s already warm. 

My knee doesn’t hurt as much today. I took my medicine obediently this morning, so I don’t feel a thing. No pain, no sorrow, no nothing. I keep it all in. 

Hajime has been quiet ever since the accident. He must still be in chock. Everyone knows this and no one ever bothers to speak to him. But to me he sometimes speaks. Whispers in the middle of the nights and mumbles throughout the days. I haven't told anyone as it’s always the same four words over and over. 

_Please don’t leave me._

Not always in the same order. Sometimes it’s: 

_Don’t leave me, please._

or 

_Leave me. Please don’t._

or 

_Please me. Don’t leave._

There are endless combinations of words and letters, each one more daunting than the rest. I’ve forgotten which combination is the real one and I think that’s the scariest thing of all. 

Someone is coming. I know It’s a nurse from the little skips in their steps. In fact, I even know which nurse it is. It's the tall one, not the one with glasses, but the one who’s hair is always tied back in a thick braid. She knocks one, two, three times before entering my room. 

“You have visitors,” she says with a small smile. 

I nod once. I immediately know it’s Matsukawa and Hanamaki. No one else ever visits. 

When they walk in, they are both wearing smiles on their faces. I can tell it’s forced by the dullness in their eyes. 

“Hey,” they say. 

I don’t answer, only nod. 

“Coach is on his way as well. He wants to see how you are doing,” Hanamaki says quietly, _cautiously_ , I realize. 

I don’t feel surprised at the news, but this sure is a change. 

New footsteps in the hallway and I can tell it’s not any of the nurses or a doctor. It must be coach Irihata. 

A moment later, Irihata walks in. I was right. 

Both Matsukawa and Hanamaki stands up from their seats when coach walks through the door but I stay sitting with Hajime beside me. They talk but I don’t bother to listen and then coach joins us in a chair near my bed. He looks the same as when I last saw him, only a bit more sunken now. 

He says, “I’m sorry about Iwaizumi.” 

And I shake my head because that’s not right. I say, “That’s not right.” And then Hanamaki is beside me, shushing me and saying, “Try to keep calm, Oikawa.” 

“He always wants me to be calm,” I tell coach. 

And I look to Hajime but he’s gone and I say, “Where’s Hajime gone?” And suddenly the nurse is back with new pills, telling me to take them and I don’t want them so I throw them on the floor. I just want to find Hajime but I know I have to keep calm or the nurse will force me to take new pills again and I just get tired then and I don’t see Hajime at all when I take the pills. 

So, I try to look normal and meet the nurse’s eyes. 

Coach says, “I wanted to see you again, Oikawa. We’re missing you on the team and want you to get better soon so you can play again.” 

And Matsukawa says, “The doctors say your knee is getting better, so that’s good.” 

And I try my best not to look around for Hajime. But I have a feeling he’s gone to the window. Then Matsukawa says, “They’re putting the bus driver on trial.” 

Hanamaki says that’s a good thing, though I cannot find it in me to care. 

“A few of the passengers are going to testify, but most of them are too injured to. The police were here earlier asking if you were willing to testify as well but me and the doctors said that you weren’t stable enough yet. The doctors also want to move you to another hospital, one that specializes in cases like yours.” 

“We’ll help you move, of course,” Matsukawa adds. “It will be soon.” 

Coach walks over and kneels down close to my bed an says, “I came to see you, Oikawa, to perhaps persuade you to visit the team someday. They all want to see you.” 

I can’t really think of anything to say. 

Hanamaki says, “It’s something to think about, Oikawa.” 

I don’t want to think about it. 

“Now isn’t the time,” says Irihata. “I see that, but I wanted to tell you that you will always be welcome on the team.” 

Hanamaki says, instead of me, “Thank you.” 

Coach reaches out and holds my hand. Unlike Hajime’s, his is cool. He gently squeezes my hand in his and says something. But I'm not listening any more. I've spotted Hajime near the window, reaching out to put his hand against the glass. He looks so beautiful in the sunlight, so at home. 

The others in the room must’ve noticed my far-off stare because soon the leave. And as the door finally comes to a shut, I give in. I put my mental shield down and let every emotion trapped within me loose and they fall down as salty tears on my cheeks. 

Hajime turns around and meets my tear-filled gaze from across the room. And he smiles. Without breaking eye contact he opens the window and climbs up on the window rail. 

My eyes widen and I throw my legs of the bed, lounging towards him. But I haven't walked in so many days and I fall to the floor with a loud thud. Suddenly Hanamaki is with me on the floor, stroking my hair and whispering words in my ear. But I don’t listen because Hajime leans forward and loose his grip from the railing. 

And I watch him fall down, down, down. 

Still with a smile. Always with a smile. 

There is no sound of him hitting the ground, but I know he’s gone. No one screams except for me. And oh, do I scream loudly. 

I yell and lash out; I cry and I scream. Four words, over and over until my voice is hoarse and my throat is too sore to continue. 

_“P_ _lease don’t leave me_ _!”_

I can’t lose you _again._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me. Hopefully you enjoyed it...  
> In this fic I wanted to express how I think Oikawa would handle losing his best friend. Because they are so tight, I imagine he would be in denial. Maybe it's just me being a cruel human being, but while i read a similar scenario in a book all I could think about was this ship. And so I transferred that idea into this fic and well… here we are.  
> Again, Thank you for reading. Feedback is always appreciated.


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